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Stone Cold Stunners & Other Wrestling Moves That Prepared Me For Life

I grew up in Oklahoma City, land of WWF matches, drag racing strips, roller rinks and Sooner football.  At a young age, the wrestlers that came to town fascinated my brother and I.   Andre the Giant was his favorite and I had a crush on Gorgeous George.  We frequently argued over who would win if they were ever scheduled in a match.  I mean there was no comparison – Andre the Giant was a hulk at 7’4” and Gorgeous George was only 5’9”.  But to say George was confident would be an understatement. No one could match his flamboyant style as he entered the arena to the melodic notes of Pomp and Circumstance, donning his sequined robe as his ring valet tossed rose petals at his feet.  His showmanship was legendary and later both Muhammad Ali and James Brown would cite GG as the inspiration for their own self-promotion.  Anyway, no one could convince us that the wrestling wasn’t real and I actually cried watching a match on WKY TV when a ceiling tile fell on GG’s head, cutting it open and spilling blood into his golden curls.

Life Lesson #1 – You don’t have to be the biggest or baddest to win.

Life Lesson #2 – Stone cold stunners and other heavy blows may knock you down but you can choose to get up and keep fighting.

Life Lesson #3 – Be creative and enjoy your individuality. 

Fantasy is a fickle mistress.  If you don’t believe, then it is nonsense to you.  But if you believe, you will open you heart to unexpected life lessons and a world of imagination.

Duct Tape & Other Beauty Obsessions

Duct tape, that powerful, gooey, silvery gray roll of gravity-defying magic.  How could we live without it?  Growing up, I watched in wonder as my Granddad secured, repaired and stabilized countless pieces of farm equipment, fence gates and the rusty holes in the Quonset hut near the barn.  He would smile at me silently, almost as if saying, “Yep, duct tape is a farmer’s best friend.” 

 As if it couldn’t get any better, one day in the 1960s he discovered super glue.  Super glue was like duct tape and baling wire on steroids.  Excitedly, he applied it to the bottom of his glass toothpick holder and pressed it onto the dash of his new Cadillac – it was stuck like Chuck!  Wow! Who knew such an astonishing product existed.  Granddad finished his last days exhausting every possible use for super glue his imagination could create. 

After marrying, I learned that my family wasn’t the only ones with a duct tape obsession.  An aunt (who shall remain nameless) desired a more youthful appearance.  In a brilliant display of creativity, she pulled the skin on the back of her neck taught (much a mother dog does when using her mouth to pick up a pup by the scruff of its neck).  She slapped that tape down, popped the collar on her shirt up to disguise it and reveled in her accomplishment.  That’s what you call a redneck neck lift! 

And another female in the family, rather than wasting money buying different chain lengths, uses tape to stick her necklace to the back of her neck and covers it up with her hair.  Voila!

So there you have it – my family’s hush-hush beauty tip! Well that and our secret Kool-Aid concoction (Kool-Aid, honey and cayenne pepper)… THE perfect all-in-one lip stain and lip plumper!  But that’s for another day…

Don't Hate The Player - Hate the GAME--- WHAT???

Okay so I’m sitting with my daughter in a lounge and overhear the best man proudly and loudly make this toast to the other 8 including the groom, “To our wives and our mistresses – may they NEVER meet!”  Laughter and the clanking of shot glass ensue. 

Hmmm…my first thought was to judge him for his actions and forget his intentions, assuming they were noble in some small way.  But you see I firmly believe (after spending another whiskey-soaked hour observing their boisterous camaraderie) that these misbehaving boys just wanted to be seen as players – even if just for one evening.

What is that about?  Who are they kidding?  A quick eye survey around their table depicts beer bellies, shriveling, neglected muscles and struggling hairlines.  What happened to all the vim and vigor of the ‘glory days’ long gone?  They spoke of first wives, hot girlfriends and evaluated every female that walked by.  They sneered at a table of mature women as if begging them to confront their bad boy behavior.  Bullies are bolder in groups and rational people tend to not want to become their targets.

Proud, that’s what they were.  Proud of who they thought we thought they were. And obviously thinking that’s what women want.  So why do women tolerate this behavior as acceptable? Do they hope and pray that it will disappear someday or at least not get worse?

 

Wake up girls!  This is a character weakness or as my husbands says - a flaw.  And it’s not pretty.  Ladies, you are worth more than that – much more!  And guys – we don’t think you are who you think we think you are – so don’t blame it on the game.